“It’s a girl” can be a deadly statement in some countries. For me, that one sentence made my birth parents abandon me in front of my orphanage when I was only two days old.
For most of my childhood and young adult life I held to the belief that I was unwanted and not worthy of love. All around me I heard or saw: “you’re lucky to be adopted,” “I wish I was,” or “be thankful you were chosen.” These statements just made me more uncomfortable with the fact that I was adopted. I was so angry with my birth parents that they were able to give up their daughter. I hated that I wasn’t with a family who looked like me. I hated that I was different. I felt abandoned: my own birth parents didn’t want me, so why would my adoptive parents?
My hatred prevented me from having relationships with my family.
But here’s the thing: adoption doesn’t have to be related to bitterness. So many adoptees focus on the negative points of adoption rather than the positive. We are no longer orphans, wards of the state, or alone. We are surrounded by friends and family who love us and want to know how we feel.