My story is that of a young girl who wanted to escape, to experience the world and free herself from a country in turmoil where men laid the law.
It is one of perseverance, of growth, of fighting very hard to seek and ultimately attain independence.
I have started on my own from scratch twice, in countries where I knew no one and had little to no support system whilst coming from a reality that was so starkly different by comparison.
I have faced destitution, prolonged loneliness, going temporarily blind in an eye from acute stress, 11 years of a confining and demanding immigration system, depression, and a challenging childhood.
Getting through the difficult times in my childhood was about survival.
Reading voraciously was one thing that greatly helped me.
The other was the ability to dream that one day I would be able to leave and build something better and freer for myself. I did not know what that was, how it would look life and what challenges I would face along the way, but I knew I was burning for it.
When the opportunity presented itself to leave my country of birth at 17, I took it without hesitation or thinking twice. I dove right in and took all the risks I didn’t know existed and that I would face.
I overcame the other challenges that flew my way over the years after I left through pure tenacity, hope and willpower.
I knew what awaited me if I were to give up and go back – although it was a tempting thought many times when I was down and exhausted – and I knew for a fact there was no going back.
So, I made that my mission.
I didn’t know at the time that this was a well-known philosophy, but for me there was no plan B, so I had to make plan A work – the only one I had – regardless of the struggles and the unknowns.
I have had the luck and privilege to be supported by many incredible people, beautiful souls, and trailblazing minds who bring so much good to humanity and endlessly inspire me.
I am forever grateful and indebted to them and I hope they know who they are.
The one I will single out, however, is my mother.
Her first and only pregnancy was difficult and almost took her life twice. At four months, she was advised to terminate it, but categorically refused and went on to painfully, and somehow miraculously, carry to term. She didn’t give up on me then, and despite the hardships – or perhaps because of them – she not only tried to find opportunities for me, but selflessly allowed me to dive off the side of a very tall abyss at a young age, fearing that I might fall, but believing that I would fly to pursue and create a better outcome for myself. She encouraged me to break free where she may have been unable to do so herself. I am the light of her eyes and she is so to mine.
Through a lot of slow and ongoing self-work, I have realized though and finally believe that the most influential person in my life is me.
I also recently came across a quote that has stayed with me: “The most influential person you will talk to all day is you.”
I believe this is true for all of us.
My story is unusual in the sense that very few women, let alone 17 years old girls, immigrated from my country in search of more and better possibilities at that time. This was primarily the domain of single men and families. Or tragically of the countless girls and women who were kidnapped or sold into prostitution. I wanted to change that narrative and show - first and foremost to myself – that I could pave a different way. In doing so and unknown to me, I inspired two female cousins to do the same a year later.
I hope that sharing this publicly now inspires other girls and women wherever they may be that they can change their narrative.
They are strong and brave, and they possess immense light and the power to be wild. To break free. To overcome, soar high, and shine bright. No one can take this away from them.
The power is there.
In their hands, in their mind, in their strength, in their vision, dreams and determination.
