Facing My Inner Critic

I’ve kept inside my ideas, my thoughts, my wisdom, and my opinions all because of that nasty four-letter F-word: fear. Fear of being rejected, judged, made fun of, exposed, sounding stupid, and most of all, failing.

I had to face my inner critic. That negative voice inside my head that often tries to keep me stuck, or from taking chances on myself. I had to face imposter syndrome each time I would try something new as these old thoughts about what I could and could not do would start to surface and if I wasn’t mindful, those thoughts would take me down a rabbit hole of negative thinking about my capabilities.

I’ve had to face the naysayers. When I chose to take a big chance on myself and leave corporate, plenty of people were in my life trying to remind me that I should stay. That I should not take a chance on myself. That I should listen to the status quo and stay stuck.

I had to face the doubt that kept creeping up for me as I would take big steps outside of my comfort zone. I had to face the fear and do it scared, or I wouldn’t do it. I had to take action, despite the fear, and each time I did, I was met with love and acceptance from myself. I had to let go of the limiting beliefs that were no longer serving me well. I had let go of the fear of missing out. It was keeping me in a negative mindset. So I started to take action. Not all at once, rather in small steps. Each time I was met with success, I would feel confident enough to take another chance, to try something new, to challenge myself. The more I would stretch myself, the more I would grow and the more I wanted to take on more.

I slowed down. I practiced meditation. I began to tune into my body, mind, and soul. I asked for help. I surrounded myself with like-minded individuals. I cared for myself. I developed my voice. I had difficult conversations with others. I got out of my comfort zone and pushed myself to try new things. I began to trust my intuition. I began to downsize my life – job, home, relationships and ultimately, woke up to the possibilities and took my power back.

From everything, I learned that I was on autopilot in my life. I was letting others lead me and trusting them, and not myself. I thought that others deserved success, that they knew me better than I knew myself, and that if I just listened to others, I would be successful and happy. I was constantly looking outside of myself, and to others to solve my problems and giving away my power. I learned that I was looking to others to validate and approve of me and my ideas, when it was ME that needed to approve and validate myself. I learned that I was standing in my own way of receiving the love and acceptance that I craved from others. The more I took the love and acceptance that I so freely gave to others, and began to care for myself, the more I began to feel accepted, validated, and loved. With this new found love for myself, I began to trust myself more, and with this new trust, I was able to take bigger steps outside and my comfort zone and essentially, let go of who I was, to become who I am.

I speak my truth, wear my heart on my sleeve, and lead from the heart. I am sensitive to the needs of others and hold space for others without judgement so that they feel heard, values, and seen. I want others to hear my story of transformation to inspire them to face their fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs, so they too can start to live their happiest life.